The story of two faces....
As i dip my head back in the water, two images shine before my eyes. Unfortunately, both represent the past. One, a recent past, which makes me sad that it is over, it sends a rush of blood into my chest, a desire, a hope, that it never ended. This is a past i want to stay back in, a past of glorious silence, mesmerising beauty, the calm abyss, the vista of the hills, water, and the"mind-shot" of the countless stars. The unending emerald blue and green of the seas, the colours underneath the surface, the glory of the rains, all the love showered ( literally ) by Sam and Frodo the Retrievers, all of this represented by, one soft, tender, empathetic deep blue eyes, "ONE FACE".
And, I cant have any of this, but, what i am forced into, as i wait for my delayed flight to take off is a past, which i don't want. Whoever said, life doesn't repeat itself. I see myself walking into one. The gloom of my broken marriage, the mundane repetition of the day to day life. The long never ending ( used to be my refugee) work. Hordes of faces, the anticipated visit to the lawyer, the cry, the wallows, weeps, pretentious laughter's and the beginning of the end. or should the say the END of the beginning.
All of these thoughts rush to my head, causing pain, sadness, and churns my stomach, it fills up my eyes. The irony of all this misery is, it is represented by these wonderful light brown eyes, the most beautiful face i have ever seen. The face i care about the most in this whole wide world. the touch i crave for. the voice I'd die to hear, but, not today, today i want to end it. Well, not that i have a choice, let me rephrase, today, it is the end i need to accept. It is the end I need to live with. This is the past that i am heading back too.
As i wait and hope for the flight to "not" take off. I am in pain for two pasts, one i am walking away from and the one i am walking into.
Two faces, two sides to the same coin, one of a dreamy surreal future that i cannot have and the other of an ended, broken dream. And, this explains why i kept running to this dream, I kept asking myself "why was i trying to catch a bubble", it was an anguished momentary attempt to catch a of breath of air. It was a swim away from the other to a mirage of a shore.
Now, i need to duck my head back into the waters and continue to swim, to a shore that i don't see. The Horizon is all water and, with hopelessness i will swim, with two faces in my head and in my heart.
I see the deep blue eyes and the light brown eyes in the horizon, i don't belong to either of them. I don't know where the current is dragging me, will i drown, will i survive, do i even want to survive, will i see the shore ever again. I raise my head look at the two faces, swallow the lump in my throat, and, duck my head back into the water....
And, I cant have any of this, but, what i am forced into, as i wait for my delayed flight to take off is a past, which i don't want. Whoever said, life doesn't repeat itself. I see myself walking into one. The gloom of my broken marriage, the mundane repetition of the day to day life. The long never ending ( used to be my refugee) work. Hordes of faces, the anticipated visit to the lawyer, the cry, the wallows, weeps, pretentious laughter's and the beginning of the end. or should the say the END of the beginning.
All of these thoughts rush to my head, causing pain, sadness, and churns my stomach, it fills up my eyes. The irony of all this misery is, it is represented by these wonderful light brown eyes, the most beautiful face i have ever seen. The face i care about the most in this whole wide world. the touch i crave for. the voice I'd die to hear, but, not today, today i want to end it. Well, not that i have a choice, let me rephrase, today, it is the end i need to accept. It is the end I need to live with. This is the past that i am heading back too.
As i wait and hope for the flight to "not" take off. I am in pain for two pasts, one i am walking away from and the one i am walking into.
Two faces, two sides to the same coin, one of a dreamy surreal future that i cannot have and the other of an ended, broken dream. And, this explains why i kept running to this dream, I kept asking myself "why was i trying to catch a bubble", it was an anguished momentary attempt to catch a of breath of air. It was a swim away from the other to a mirage of a shore.
Now, i need to duck my head back into the waters and continue to swim, to a shore that i don't see. The Horizon is all water and, with hopelessness i will swim, with two faces in my head and in my heart.
I see the deep blue eyes and the light brown eyes in the horizon, i don't belong to either of them. I don't know where the current is dragging me, will i drown, will i survive, do i even want to survive, will i see the shore ever again. I raise my head look at the two faces, swallow the lump in my throat, and, duck my head back into the water....
posted by alpha on to Omega at 7:33 AM
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