when do you know you haved "moved on"...
How do you know when is it time to move on ? My wife, who is soon going to be my "ex-wife" calls me, talks about how she has moved on with her life and i realise how she subconsciously lies to herself and me, the pain and the anguish in her voice is so evident.. all the alcohol, the smokes, the night outs, newer friends cannot heal the pain..but yes, she cries out that she HAS moved on..how do you know that you have...... if she has, why am i unable to see it...what am i missing here... I was told I don't understand, truly I dont..I've always been a little slow,... can someone show me some light...
There is this guy I know, had a steady girl friend, well, the story is 10 years old. almost married her, well, they broke up, he turned into a sex addict...he claims happiness, he says he has found it in the drift, he has probably slept with more women than he can count, he says he has moved on..where is the stability he set out for..has he moved on or is he going to come crashing one day when he realises that he does not have a wife a family...he was so ready for it 10 years ago? has he moved on or am i unable to see the change....
This other girl, broke up with her boy friend years ago, still meet once in a while, makes out and makes love when they both urge for it..why did they break up, is this how they deal with their pain..have they moved on... or why does she claim that she has..... they cant meet anybody new, they don't want each other, they don't want anyone else either..they cant live with themselves, they cant live with each other, they cannot live without each other....where is the " I have moved on".. i cant see it, or i am not able to see what they have figured out for themselves..
This other woman, hope, swears, and promises to herself that she will never ever call him again, every time the phone rings, she hopes it is him, and once in a while when it is him, tears roll down her cheeks, they talk for hours, the phone dies, and then they get back to their world of " life goes on", back in their loneliness, the momentary joy has left behind hordes of expectations that they cant keep. They know they met their forks months ago and the roads divided and they will never meet again.. when does one move on...or will their road merge ever again or do they want it to merge....what i am not seeing that they are...
i have met more strangers in the past two months of my life than i have ever before, made futile conversations, cracked jokes, discussed politics, coffees, dinners. why do i still feel lonely, why, am i not able to move on, why am i not able to take to a newer road.. why can't i even claim that "I have" like my soon to be "ex-wife", why can't I go on a sexual binge, why am I holding back, why cant I work out something convenient, why am I not able to see the end of the road or just plain accept it or just hitch a ride to a newer place....
why am i not able to move on..or when does one know that he or she has moved on... when does one get out of the hiding and acknowledge that the "current moving on" is some sort of a mask, that we are not willing to take off.. or when the mask is off, how do we know we have taken to the newer street. Is it when, when i find myself mindlessly working, or sleeping with a new girl every night, is when i don't look forward to the phone call, is it when i can make a conversation with someone and feel whole...
when will i be able to sleep with myself and not feel lonely, when will i look at the sunset and will not have the void in my heart that it needn't be shared with someone else. when will I not " need somebody to love", when will I not have the urge to be loved....
when will i sleep with myself, like i did before i grew up into a man.... when will i move on....
There is this guy I know, had a steady girl friend, well, the story is 10 years old. almost married her, well, they broke up, he turned into a sex addict...he claims happiness, he says he has found it in the drift, he has probably slept with more women than he can count, he says he has moved on..where is the stability he set out for..has he moved on or is he going to come crashing one day when he realises that he does not have a wife a family...he was so ready for it 10 years ago? has he moved on or am i unable to see the change....
This other girl, broke up with her boy friend years ago, still meet once in a while, makes out and makes love when they both urge for it..why did they break up, is this how they deal with their pain..have they moved on... or why does she claim that she has..... they cant meet anybody new, they don't want each other, they don't want anyone else either..they cant live with themselves, they cant live with each other, they cannot live without each other....where is the " I have moved on".. i cant see it, or i am not able to see what they have figured out for themselves..
This other woman, hope, swears, and promises to herself that she will never ever call him again, every time the phone rings, she hopes it is him, and once in a while when it is him, tears roll down her cheeks, they talk for hours, the phone dies, and then they get back to their world of " life goes on", back in their loneliness, the momentary joy has left behind hordes of expectations that they cant keep. They know they met their forks months ago and the roads divided and they will never meet again.. when does one move on...or will their road merge ever again or do they want it to merge....what i am not seeing that they are...
i have met more strangers in the past two months of my life than i have ever before, made futile conversations, cracked jokes, discussed politics, coffees, dinners. why do i still feel lonely, why, am i not able to move on, why am i not able to take to a newer road.. why can't i even claim that "I have" like my soon to be "ex-wife", why can't I go on a sexual binge, why am I holding back, why cant I work out something convenient, why am I not able to see the end of the road or just plain accept it or just hitch a ride to a newer place....
why am i not able to move on..or when does one know that he or she has moved on... when does one get out of the hiding and acknowledge that the "current moving on" is some sort of a mask, that we are not willing to take off.. or when the mask is off, how do we know we have taken to the newer street. Is it when, when i find myself mindlessly working, or sleeping with a new girl every night, is when i don't look forward to the phone call, is it when i can make a conversation with someone and feel whole...
when will i be able to sleep with myself and not feel lonely, when will i look at the sunset and will not have the void in my heart that it needn't be shared with someone else. when will I not " need somebody to love", when will I not have the urge to be loved....
when will i sleep with myself, like i did before i grew up into a man.... when will i move on....
posted by alpha on to Omega at 4:57 AM
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